1. |
Intro
04:49
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well I'm here now finally got out
of that blue town I hated more than him
four suitcases of a life
put up pictures on the walls of white
told myself this'll be the age of answering
but it turns out as I look around
I have more questions than I did when I left
I know it takes time
I know I can spend my whole life
trying to figure out the reasons why
but the thing is anything other than
that to me is just a waste of time
sometimes I think I know what I'm doing
but mostly it's just a mess
I know I'm not alone in feeling like this
but I walk down the stairway alone
thinking maybe I don't belong in anything
I just can't see myself living much longer than this
sometimes I write something
and I didn't know I needed to say it
but is that enough if no one's listening
well I was starting to hope that I don't know
maybe something'd just work out on its own
I was starting to think that not everything
had to leave me feeling so fucking alone
and then the fog rolled in with no warning
and I thought I'd prepared myself for any type of weather
but that afternoon reminded me I'll never have it together
but maybe I found a way to be something like happy
I kept my head down maybe the universe is rewarding me
I know my touch will destroy it all inevitably
but until then I will revel in the golden days that somehow found me
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2. |
Porches
02:42
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I'll give up my time if you'll spend it with me
I can feel me losing you cause I can't stay happy
I don't know why you like me but I don't want you to change your mind
I want you teach me how to like me
I want you to change my mine
I'll take any pills that they tell me to
I don't wanna feel like this I wanna feel like we did in the honeymoon phase
I don't know why you like me but I don't want you to change your mind
I want you teach me how to like me
I want you to change my mine
change my mind
I've been trying to my whole life
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3. |
Love Song
02:46
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backwards on your bed
arm underneath your head
and I'm trying to think of a metaphor for it
there's nothing I can do
except wait til I see you again
and I better not be falling in love
for someone like me that's a death sentence
I better not be falling in love
that shit just reminds me I'm broken
I didn't think I'd ever receive
the compliments that you're paying me
so I tell you if you're lying I'll kill you myself
all the ones before you taught me
that a girl can never believe
so just hurt me again I don't expect anything else
but I better not be falling in love
for someone like me that's a death sentence
I better not be falling in love
that shit just reminds me I'm broken
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4. |
Crumble
03:17
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we've been creative in the ways we evade the phrase
I enjoy you I really like you I missed kissing you this week
but I felt it coming on when we were standing on the lawn
either way you're gonna break me at the knees
I search for hints in your lips I look for treasure in yur skkin
I gotta know if you'll be like the others in he end
you don't know me
my inadvertent safety measure
cause I'm sure this is gonna crumble one way or another
I'd almost skip to the murder scene
than go through the parts that'll haunt my memory
cause I can't enjoy this anyway
I'm too vigilant trying to expect that you'll hurt me
it's too easy for you to feel and not show it
but my face might as well be a map to my ugly heart
you scribbled all over the thing with blood
and everybody knows
and for a while it was the most stunning fucking piece of art
I fell asleep in your arms
I took your portrait in the car
got the film developed and it turns out it was too dark
you don't know me
my inadvertent safety feature
cause boy this one crumbled faster than fucking ever
and now I"m just playing the loop of those tender scenes
but I can't remember the last time you really smiled at me
I couldn't enjoy it anyway
I was too vigilant knowing you'd end up hurting me
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5. |
Permission
04:54
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I don't know what to say
I wish there were a way
to get what I want
but there's not
I don't know how I'll stand
next to you without holding hands
and I was never like this
but nothing was ever like this
who gave you permission
to show up and make me happy
just to go and break it
even if accidentally
I know you didn't intend
to complicate everything
in fact you made it so much better
before you murdered me
you say you don't expect me
to wait around for you
but I know found my person
so what else would I do
I'm the queen of crying
especially in public
I'm just broken-hearted
I don't care if everybody knows it
who gave you permission
to show up and make me happy
just to go and break it
even if accidentally
I know you didn't intend
to complicate everything
in fact you made it so much better
before you murdered me
the thought of you with someone else
it makes me sick
the thought of you with someone else
it makes me sick
the thought of you with someone else
it makes me sick
the thought of you with someone else
the thought of you with someone else
the thought of you with someone else
the thought of you with someone else
the thought of you
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6. |
Low
02:31
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take me back to that place we built in seven days
where the ground was flat and we knew where we stood
cause lately it's all hills and valleys
you can't win with that kind of topography
cause when you're low you can't see where you're going
and when you're on top you know exactly where you're going
down low low down
no one told you to care about me
you did anyway
when they told you to get rid of me
you did that in a day
it must not be a good sign that I still wanna kiss you
it's not fair you said baby it's not fair no matter what you do
cause I don't wanna be sad and jealous
I got shit to do I can't afford these emotions
I thought I could pull it off
I wanted to be okay
but a kid like me can't survive off maybe
someday maybe
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7. |
Tremble
02:34
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how am I gonna scare you away
there's so many options
maybe I'll want too much
or be too honest too often
I'm just too sad to lie about it
and I couldn't if I tried
I know I was smiling the day we met
but I'm sure you saw it in my eyes
I bet you thought that you saw
a little bit of yourself in there
soon you'll see the scope of my sadness
don't want you to drown in it
no it's not a competition
it's just a fact
you're not gonna fix it
no one can
and I know you didn't offer
I'm just saying before we take off
our clothes you should understand
one more can't undo the damage of dozens and dozens and
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8. |
Creeps Losers Fools
02:24
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Gentle Confidence Oberlin, Ohio
Julia DiFiori is Gentle Confidence.
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